As Those Who Are Too Old

As Those Who Are Too Old

he is inventing me
but I cannot say to him
she is not real
even as he held me
he was destroying me
and creating her
he was puzzled when
I walked away
as fast as those
who are too old to die
he writes her letters
which I intercept
and answer with great care 
and imprecision

Joy Kogawa
Jericho Road
McClelland Stewart, 1977

PS:  I found out today that Joy Kogawa and I share the same birthday - the day and month though not the year. Obvoiusly. She is actually one year older than my father.

She speaks in an interview I watched on line today, of the point in your life of "crossing over". That time, she says, is when you decide to cease becoming a victim. In a great spirit of gentleness, she acknowledges that, of course, there are moments when you are thrown back. However, if you stay stuck in the identity of the victim, and stay focused on how hurt you are, then you are not aware of others' suffering. You are only aware of your own and that is how you can do great harm to others. When you cease to be constantly aware of your own suffering is when you know you are seen and then you can see others.

And so, imprecision. But very great care.