Subject To Dispersal

"One is not oneself. 
One is several, incomplete and subject to dispersal."

                                                                      Virginia Woolf

I have been struggling with my multitudes of late. There is so much I want to do, so many things I want to be. I am trying to knit, trying to write, trying to be a labour activist. Add to that my overriding, almost animal instinct to be a giving partner and mother. There are not enough hours to accomplish everything and I find that if I devote the majority of my focus on one aspect of my personality, I miss the others. So I practice a little of each and do none of them particularly well.

This feels urgent. Time seems to go faster as I age. Also, as I don't have what people call a "career" but rather just a boring job where I exchange my precious time for dollars, there is the shame and discouragement of that issue.

What's best? Should one focus intensely or be a scattered mess of activity? Where's the balance and how to find it?

This is just a meandering - an attempt to get it down. 

Here are some photos of weirdness on the Don Trail taken two Sundays ago when it was unseasonably balmy and we went for a muddy bike ride.